a list of things that make worry

is it to worry or to wonder?

Feb 16, 2025

do you know when you open a book and start reading and your mind just starts spinning around?

well, that was me yesterday, and the day before, and many other days too.

I was getting the complete opposite result of what I was looking for. Instead of dividing it into a character’s life and adventure, I was just getting in my head thinking about everything and nothing at the same time.

and mostly,

worrying.

I worry about why I just can’t be focused on the book I have on my hands and about when I will be going through all the books I want to read

I worry about whether this is just me or a common thing that happens to other people

I worry about the books I’ve read that I no longer remember and how badly I want this to change

I worry about all the films I’ve not yet watched, the ones I’ve fallen asleep while trying to watch them and the ones I want to watch

I worry about all the new songs I want to listen to when sometimes all I want is to have my current playlist on repeat

I worry about not having the time to listen to all the podcasts I’d like

I worry about how sometimes I feel like I have so many things to say but I can’t find the words because nothing seems to be fully clear in my head

I worry about what I could have said

and I worry about the words I said when I should not have

I worry about what my future could look like

and where, with who I’d be, and what I’d be doing

I worry about not knowing what my passion is and whether I’ll discover it someday

I worry about what it would be like to leave everything, travel, and start a life somewhere else

(again)

I worry about not being able to be there for the people that need me

I worry about always being the long-distance daughter

and the long-distance friend

I worry about not being able to water all the seeds I’ve planted because we never know when or where we will see each other again

and not seeing the seeds bloom

I worry about messaging people I haven’t replied to in a while and constantly feeling sorry for my late reply

I worry about not being enough,

and not doing enough

I worry about deceiving the people that I love

I worry about doing something that hurts somebody and not being aware of it

I worry about being too independent and the idea of home

I worry about whether I’d have the time to do all the things I want to, to travel to all the places I have on my mind,

and about not being able to find or afford the place

I worry about things that I know are beyond my control knowing that all I need to do is make the effort and come back to my book, just like I’ve done many other times.

and maybe all these worries were never real worries but just me wondering about all the possibilities ahead of us.